A Reflection 2010

It’s been about a year since I started this blog, and I thought it’d be a good time to do a reflection, not just on the blog, but on my entire life. One year ago, I was finishing my freshman year at Gill St. Bernard’s School. I had very few friends, I was shy, and I had no idea what I was going to do. I spent the summer refining what I wanted to do the next year so that I could really figure what my path for life was. Because of that, I decided to start a blog. It began with a few awkward posts about working out and Atheism, but gradually progressed to a pretty well functioning blog. I picked up photography after meeting Foster Huntington and taking a photography class that greatly benefited me. I soon progressed through the photography ranks and got my first DSLR, a Nikon D40. At this point, I still wasn’t 100 percent sure if I had found myself yet and I was questioning myself. I was afraid. My emotions took control over my logic and I quickly sank into the background.

After spending the summer months traveling around New England, I began my Sophomore year. I wasn’t entirely sure how this year was going to go, but I plunged in head first. I was, still, afraid. I had been afraid for 2 years straight, and there was no changing that. But, I made a resolution that I would try my best to discover new things and get involved in anything I could get involved in. I found that I had trouble getting involved in school activities, so I decided to look somewhere else. That’s where Mountain Dew comes into the picture. I got involved in Green Label Art and, later on in the year, the Winter Dew Tour. I believe that Mountain Dew (stylized as mtn. dew) helped me get out there in the world and helped me learn new things about the world and discover some pretty amazing. I’m not getting paid by Pepsico, trust me. They aren’t that interested in me. I also started off the year with my first girlfriend. Unfortunately it didn’t go to far. We broke up about half-way through September because a bit of a fight we had about going to Homecoming. But, I left that behind and became smarter because of it.

As the year went on, I decided that I would rejoin our school’s robotics team after having a little bit of a scuffle during the post season with our team captain. And you know what, I’m glad that I did. I met some amazing people who are pretty cool despite being members of the robotics team. However, I’m a proud member as well and I’m happy to call myself a geek. But, I have made some great friends and I am able to share some secrets with them. Robotics was an adventure that I was glad to take. As for my emotions taking control over my logic, let’s just say that logic has moved from passenger to driver.

As for my blog, a couple months prior, I visited a place called Greystone. That is what is making my blog a larger deal than just 1 or 2 views the day I post a post. To this day, I am still getting people visiting my blog because they searched for Greystone on Google, and I am thankful for that. I don’t blame them, Greystone is an amazing place. It has a rich history and is pretty freaking creepy. But, I will never forget Greystone. I hope that I will be able to visit Greystone at least once every year.

As I neared the end of school, I began to look back and realize what I was leaving. I was leaving because during spring break, I received a phone call from Head of Admissions at Westminster School informing me that I was accepted as a repeat sophomore next year. I was excited to received this information, but I was also split. I had made so many more friends at Gill since the previous year and I was afraid to leave. This is where, unfortunately, my emotions begin to back seat drive. My logic told me that this experience was going to be excellent, but my emotions yelled at me saying that this was the stupidest mistake I had ever made. I know that everything is going to work out fine, but it’s just my frigging annoying emotions. I know that my whole anxiety issue stems back from my epilepsy, but what can I do? I can take my meds, but I’ve gone through therapy and there’s not much more to talk about.

This pretty brings us to present day, but before today, I had to say goodbye to the school that brought me through all of my troubles in 8th grade. Of course, they might not have handled it in the best way, but they handled it. I might not have left a huge impression on the school except for some photos, but what is most important is the impression Gill left on me. I will know many things when I grow up, and thanks to Gill, I will know that much more.

Okay, we have now pretty much caught up to the present day. And I am looking forward to the future. I am looking forward to being a Sophomore next year at Westminster and I am looking forward to starting life off again, this time with a clean slate. In this past year, I have learned that I can’t change what people think of me or have me change for them. I have learned that everything happens for a reason, and make do with what you have. I have learned that, no matter how much shit gets thrown at you, it’ll get better. I am Charlie Beck, and I am proud of myself and the fact that I haven’t completely screwed up my entire life just yet. IamMisplaced